The first month of the year is down! I feel a bit frantic about it, because time doesn’t stop (what a shocking revelation!) and we’re all just being pushed inexorably towards the future, which is straight up terrifying.
1. back to sk00l (again)
My spring semester has started and I cannot believe I have so much to do already. Last semester I took 4 classes, and they all went pretty well (I ended with 4 A’s), so this semester I’ve upped it to 5 classes, with 3 being honors. Here’s hoping I don’t sink!
2. red carpets – golden globes & grammys
It’s awards show season!!! What does this mean? It means we get angry over things that should’ve won and didn’t and also many famous people wear clothes on red carpets!!!! I don’t consume nearly enough media to really formulate an opinion on what is or is not worthy of an Oscar/Emmy/Grammy/Whatever Else (I have seen exactly zero (0) out of the nine (9) Oscar Best Picture nominees…), but I am capable of looking at a red carpet celebrity Look and deciding if I like it or not, so heeeeere we go. This’ll be the Golden Globes and the Grammys, with 8 looks I liked and 4 I didn’t for each event.
A quick note before we start – my criteria for a “good” look is that it looks good, of course, but also a few other things. It should be visually interesting. I want them to take risks and have fun – who else gets to wear crazy fucking feathered couture gowns!? My #1 fashion pet peeve is when celebrities wear boring ass dresses to shit like this. Like, c’mon. Groundbreaking, a black tuxedo is not. Also, the look must not rely on their skinny figure, it should stand on its own. Those are my principles – 1) Look good 2) Be interesting 3) Do not depend on skinniness for aesthetic value.
OK INTO THE ~LOOKZ!
Susan Kelechi Watson in Monsoori: I gotta admit, I don’t actually know who this woman is, but this LOOK!! The shape of her hair + the loose pant leg of the jumpsuit + the deep V neckline = perfect proportions.
Diane Kruger in Prada: Can Diane do any wrong?? Floaty ethereal wispy caped goodness. She always does so well picking dresses that are just a tad bit weird/different.
Alexis Bledel in Oscar de la Renta: I! Love! Jumpsuits!! Alexis Bledel has never stood out to me on the red carpet before, but girl pulled through here. I maybe would have liked to see her hair up and an ear climber to accessorize, but those gripes aren’t enough to push this out of the “good” category for me.
Kerry Washington in Prabal Gurung: The booties really take this look to ~the next level~*, I think – imagining this look with strappy heels or anything else completely changes it. Her waves are perfect, too, and I love the undone quality of that hairstyle with the glitzy slit dress.
Zoe Kravitz in Saint Laurent: This is a look I hesitated a bit to add, because it’s reaaaally simple. But I still put it here because although it is simple, simple things can be difficult to do super well, like we see here, and simple things can easily go wrong. The strappy super high heels, her tattoos, the emerald green earrings, and her haircut all elevate the already perfectly fitting dress.
Caleb McLaughlin in Ports 1961 with a vintage Dior brooch: How old is this kid, like 14?! I was wearing ugly purple skinny jeans at 14!! Unfair. The mockneck of the sweater and the shawl lapel keep this black tuxedo from feeling boring, and the brooch adds that lil somethin’ somethin’… Keep your stylist around, Caleb!
Issa Rae in Prabal Gurung: This pose gives me Angie’s leg at the Oscars vibes and is not doing a ton of favors for the look, buuuut I feel like the dress would look so good from the side with the train/cape thing flowing out behind her.
Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace: Perhaps a bit of an unpopular opinion, this one. I think I saw a comment somewhere that said she looked like a rich widow in her goth phase, and like….. I’m hella into that. She looks like she murdered her husband to get her hands on his fortune and now just swans around her mansion all day in her many feather boas, and that’s a good thing to me.
Sarah Jessica Parker in Dolce & Gabbana: Starting off the looks I really was not feeling, Carrie Bradshaw herself. The dress itself is bewildering and looks like something a spoiled little girl would wear to her birthday party. The hairstyle and shoes don’t help in getting it out of that vibe.
Shailene Woodley in Ralph Lauren: I don’t even know where to begin with this. Shailene consistently disappoints me on the red carpet – but I guess it’s not even disappointing, since I expect bad looks from her. (Her Emmys 2017 green gown is an exception!) She looks like an automaton mannequin from the future, where we all squish our boobs with fishing nets.
Kate Hudson in Valentino: It KILLS me to put Valentino on a worst dressed list, because Valentino is my favorite high fashion designer brand and I always wish I saw it on more red carpets. Not like this, though!! Perhaps if the top was kept, but the bottom was altered to a tailored jumpsuit pant like Alexis Bledel..? As it is, it looks like ugly gauzy curtains.
Halle Berry in Zuhair Murad: Like a beach cover up had a baby with the babydoll dress style from the early 2000s and then mutated in the womb into cheap lingerie.
Cyndi Lauper in Moschino: Definitely an unpopular opinion here, and I think the hair + the shoes desperately need to change. BUT this suit?! I wish and dream and pray for more of this kind of thing. It fits her personality so well and I like that she’s not afraid of really going for it.
Lana Del Rey in Gucci: Star halo. Star halo. Star halo. It was game over the minute I spotted that star halo.
SZA in Atelier Versace: Her hair with the tulle (?) skirt and arms is a dreaaaam. I saw a comment that said this dress would work better on someone taller and with a less petite figure, and, yo, I hate the idea that you should be limited sartorially because we deem certain things “unflattering” for your body type. I think she looks like a vision of poof.
Hailee Steinfeld in Alexandre Vauthier: The teal eyeshadow + crisp white dress + metallic purple boots are a color story that I adore. I have mixed feelings about the copious amounts of fake tan though, because on the one hand I get that it pops against the white and the eyeshadow, but on the other hand it looks so fake and a bit tacky, too.
Ne-Yo in Grayscale: Velvet mustard blazer, mmmmmm. And the hat! So good. I love seeing men do different things on the red carpet, and not “different” like Nick Jonas wearing a coat – I mean actually different.
Eve in Naeem Khan: Screaaaaaming!!!! Love a good jumpsuit/pant look on the red carpet, and this one is sparkly and fits so well! I’m not really feeling the hair, but I’m not sure what else I would prefer either. Maybe a high ponytail with the same curly texture?
Janelle Monae in Dolce & Gabbana: I feel like suits are Janelle’s comfort zone, so this isn’t super ~groundbreaking~ for her… But oh man, do I love her suits anyway. D&G does floral so well, and I always appreciate that Janelle isn’t afraid to button her shirt all the way up.
Camryn Howard in ??: Idk who this guy is or what he’s wearing but I do know that I love it!!!! The shades + the sequin blazer?!?! This is what I DREAM of seeing from men on the red carpet. Camryn, Ne-Yo, pls teach your fellow male celebs how to do it.
Camila Cabello in Vivienne Westwood: This is another unpopular opinion, I think, but I hate this. I hate most of Camila Cabello’s red carpet looks. It looks like a prom dress. It looks like the girl from high school who is really rich but doesn’t know how to use her money past “buy me the most expensive dress from Bloomies please!”. (Disco ball purse is cute, though! Give it to Millie Bobby Brown!)
Katie Holmes in Zac Posen: I am so so so confused by this whole situation. What is with the shiny finger curls? The really severe makeup? The leather look pleated dress? The T-strap heels that look like something you could see at Payless ShoeSource??
Anna Kendrick in Balmain & La Perla: I would have loved this look, were it not for the pastel shoes. Literally what the fuck. Why would you ruin a good thing with those?? A good ol’ Stuart Weitzman Nudist strappy sandal would’ve been great here. Or a metallic shoe. Anything else.
Kristin Cavallari in Alex Perry: AKA A KNOCKOFF OF RIHANNA AT THE MET GALA!!!!!! Back off girl, you could never.