June’s been over for a bit, and this time it really fuckin’ crept up on me in a way that hasn’t happened in a bit. I woke up on July 1st, looked at my phone, and was like “FUCK, July already?!” June was a teeny bit of a mess in my mind, I’d say. It’s been a shitty month of a shitty presidential administration and I’ve started my summer classes and it’s fucking boiling hot and we’ve seen some really fucking awful wildfires near where I live and my lord I’ve just been so harried. The prevailing feeling of June has been how I feel whenever I go to the airport – when I feel like I’ve forgotten something but it’s too late to turn back and I’m not even sure what that something is and I’m kinda behind schedule anyway and I marinate in anxiety for the entire journey to the plane.
1. suicide, kate spade, + anthony bourdain
Not to get super heavy, but sort of definitely to get really heavy because that’s what ya gotta do sometimes, the suicides of two really prominent people in American culture got us all thinking and talking about depression and what goes up in our brains. Mental health is something I think about a lot, mostly because I have hella anxiety and occasionally depression and if I don’t think about how to deal with it, it’s a real bad time, but it’s something I wish everyone thought about much, much more.
This is not a think piece about Kate or Anthony or how to prevent suicide or mental illness or get better, because all I have are my own experiences. But I just wanted to say something about it, as a thing that’s so goddamn near and dear to my heart. I try to be really open about my mental health struggz in the hopes that it might help anyone either deal with their own mental illness or be more empathetic and understanding of someone else’s. In our office a couple weeks ago, I was chattering away and oversharing (as usual) and another intern shared that he was going to his first therapy session for anxiety and depression and was having a really hard time talking about it with his friends and family. We had a talk about it and at the end he said something like ‘thanks for being so open, it really helps to see someone on the other end who understands’ and I almost cried from relief.
Anyway, to close, I hope everyone out there is doing OK, and if you’re not, that you’re still hanging on. If you’re in the US, our national suicide prevention number is 1-800-273-TALK, but if you hate talking on the phone like me you can text 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. If you’re worried about someone you know, there’s a Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale (C-SSRS) that’s a series of simple questions to gauge risk and what kind of support someone may need. There’s hope somewhere for all of us out there even if it’s hard to find right now.
(Image from Hyperbole and a Half, the truest gem on the internet that there ever was, and probably the first big positive influence on my mental health. Allie speaks so hilariously and so truly about a shitty fucking thing. Also I think of her alot probably every day.)