Life & Ramblings

september ’19 // month in review

1 – beginnings + endings

I’ve moved to LA! Halfway through the month I moved 400 miles south. The first two weeks of September were spent finishing up at my internship and restaurant job, packing up a lot of stuff, and feeling very unprepared for the end of my time in my lil ol’ hometown. Then I had a six-hour drive, a confused cat, a helpful boyfriend, blessedly absent parents, a very difficult IKEA bed, and the beginning of whatever I’m doing now!

I’m in the first week of my first quarter here at UCLA and hopefully two years from now I’ll have a bachelor’s degree, a few friends, some cool LA thrifted clothes, and some cooking and tidying and general house skills to show for it. I still feel pretty weird but I’m looking forward to feeling normal here eventually.

2 – things i’ve liked a lot

Silent D Shoes: I was so fucking #influenced and I’m only slightly ashamed that I was seriously going to spend $150 on these. Ashley from bestdressed wears these in black a lot and they look so fucking cool that I clicked on the link and looked at them seventeen times a day for, like, four days straight. I think the most I’ve ever spent on a pair of shoes is around $100 (for my Sam Edelman loafers), everything else is in the 50 or 60ish range, but lord. Shoes are my biggest wardrobe weakness and I went from “wow, I am generally uncomfortable spending anything over $50 for shoes” to “I need those $150 shoes right now and I will express ship them if needed” at a frightening speed. My bf thought they were hideous (he’s wrong, obviously) and expensive (he’s got me there), so I checked Ebay and Poshmark and Mercari and LO, $30 ON POSHMARK, MY SIZE, THEY’RE MINE. I wasn’t sold on the silver at first as it’s a bit loud, but for $30?! I’ll take ‘em. I really like them!!!! I really love them!!!!! The silver isn’t as unwearable as I had feared and, I mean, they’re kind of an out there shoe look to begin with so in for a huge buckle penny in for a shiny silver pound, eh?

Moving away from my parents: Don’t want to put anyone on blast here, not least people who are responsible for funding the vast majority of my life, but let’s just say I have very much enjoyed some geographic distance from a few people who are not the most helpful to my mental health. Depression, actually improved. Anxiety, same. Acne, still fine because of my acne cream. 🙂

My new tattoo: A lot of big changes this September!!! Another being that my right arm has this big piece o’ black on it now! Claire at Tex Tattoo in SF did it for me and it is so gosh dang pretty. I wanted golden poppies (for sweet home California) and thistles (for sweet birthplace Scotland) and she whipped up this cute lil thing. My butt was numb and hurt by the end, but my arm didn’t feel too bad at all and it’s healing pretty well now. My parents are disappointed in me which is par for the course, I know the rest of my family is going to be o_O (I think this is an emoticon we need to bring back from the 2000s graveyard), and I myself think it looks so so nice.

3 – from my camera roll

Thank you cards I made for my internship office! I wasn’t the happiest with the middle one but I also lacked the time and energy to make a new one lol. For my last day we went out for lunch at a Mexican restaurant and they got me a California State Senate resolution which meant a lot to me. It’s good to be appreciated for ur work u kno!

This sign was at my vet one day and I mean, my god. Zoom in and you can see those lil animal faces. And my tears because it is so sad.

We did a lil day trip to SF to get my tattoo and had ramen in Japantown afterwards, as well as picking up some donuts for the drive back home.

Saw this sign in Berkeley on the way back – I think someone hacks into those traffic signs to say stuff like that :O ✊✊✊

I’m trying really hard to remember this! I think it’s important. My resilience being responsible for me being me – not shit that should not have been there in the first place. Just me taking care of me.

This is literally me every time I go to a Chinese restaurant without my parents lmao.

While my bf was helping me move in, we went to Santa Monica Pier where I saw my gosh darned name on a tourist knick knack for the first time in my entire life. It was less exciting than I thought it would be.

Lots of people go fishing here!! It’s wild.

I finally finished my cross stitch! I didn’t even properly finish it because I lost the instructions lmao; I think I was supposed to backstitch a detail or something. But I’m really happy with it! I have a lot of trouble doing art and creative things because I’m afraid of being bad at it – and that’s a thing I’m working on getting over because obviously when you learn new things you’re not amazing at them + sometimes it’s nice to do things you like even if you’re not really good. So I’m proud of myself for being persistent with this guy and I hope my next project doesn’t take me two years! (I’m not that bad, it took me 2 years mostly because I would start and then forget about it for three months and then pick it back up for a week and then repeat the cycle.)

And this is a wire grid from IKEA I got as ~decor~*. I’m really looking forward to making this space mine and feel like home, so this is me trying to decorate!

After moving/building furniture, we went out for a very late dinner at Fat Sal’s. We realized very quickly that this is definitely food that’s great at 2AM when you’re drunk.

It’s really bright in my room. My blinds don’t do anything! So I put up my towels in a sad attempt to block light and this is Luna being confused about my interior decor.

Actual images of me trying to be social and make friends right now lmao.

I leave you with this hILARIOUS Chinese meme.

4 – things i have not really liked at all

Long distance: My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship now with 400 miles between us. It feels pretty sad to not be able to drive fifteen minutes to see each other and have to schedule phone calls every couple days. I’m really thankful we’re making it work right now, but it’s just sort of sad, you know? When your individual life plans mean you kind of have to not be physically together. I don’t think I realized how sad some small things would be or just how empty it feels to receive 0 hugs a day instead of 30.

Being sick and lonely and a bit overwhelmed: The day before the quarter started I woke up with a sore throat, and I’ve still got a cold! It’s not great timing. This is kind of big change in my life and, you know, it’s not the easiest. I’ll figure it out in time, but right now I haven’t yet and it doesn’t feel great.

5 – reading + looking list

Tracy Ma’s typographic tour of Manhattan’s Chinatown for AIGA Eye on Design

I Was a Low-Income College Student. Classes Weren’t the Hard Part. by Anthony Abraham Jack for The New York Times Magazine

I may be just an ordinary orc, but I wasn’t at all surprised when the Dark Lord Sauron became the leader of Mordor. A lot of my smart, liberal friends, though, reacted as if Middle-earth was coming to an end.

[…]

It’s all very well for those of you who dwell in the Shire, the haven of Rivendell, or the quiet forests of Lothlórien. You live in a bubble. You don’t know what life is like for the average orc, in depressed areas like the Trollshaws, the Misty Mountains, or the Dead Marshes. Let me tell you, it’s hard out here for an orc. We experience tremendous insecurity, not knowing whether we’ll have a job, or be able to raid peaceful villages, or if our friends will eat us. Sauron appeals to us economically challenged goblins because he offers us the chance of a decent wage, respect for our values, and renewed pride in being the corrupted spawn of Morgoth.

[…]

And to those who say it’s time we choose someone like Lady Galadriel, forget it. There are still a lot of people who will never vote for an elf.

‘We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter’ by David Howard for McSweeney’s

Vanessa Lianne’s custom signet rings: If I had more money and more of an inclination to buy things without feeling very guilty I’d like to get one of these that says Luna.

Active meditation: Victoria Hoff writing for The/Thirty on WhoWhatWear

GOOP has no issues weaponizing fears about femininity for profit. They use words like “pure,” “clean,” and “natural” — the same language as the patriarchy — to market supposedly better than conventional (but not really), yet definitely more expensive products as taking charge of your health.

GOOP has promoted vaginal steaming, the origins of which include the false belief that a uterus is full of toxins. If the myth weren’t so harmful, it would be laughable. If menstrual blood were filled with deadly toxins, how exactly does an embryo implant and thrive? 

This lie has been used to exclude menstruating women from school, work, and religious services. Vaginal steaming is a literal tool of the patriarchy. A literal tool of the patriarchy.

No GOOP, we are most definitely not on the same side by Dr. Jen Gunter

Maxwell Tilse’s illustrations and his Etsy shop

AM I OVERTHINKING THIS? Over-answering life’s questions in 101 charts by Michelle Rial


It’s been a big September for me, y’all. I’m not ready for whatever’s coming next but we’re gonna do it anyways. Have a good October!

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Life & Ramblings

july ’19 // month in review

1. a weekend in sf

July flew by, which is obvious because here I am two weeks into August writing this post lol. I spent a weekend in SF with my bf and my brother and I have a lot of photos to show for it! Otherwise, I have already completely forgotten most of what I did in July – so it’s a good thing I have some photos to fill this post up with.

A mural in the Mission of Carlos Santana.

This is SF’s City Hall! I’d never been there before and we just kind of stumbled across it, but now I finally know the location of the trendy photos everyone takes with those trees lol.

After walking around the Sutro Baths a bit on our first day there, we found a hot pot place in Richmond for dinner. They were very popular and busy so we had to wait, but it was worth it for all you can eat delicious hot pot! While we waited we walked around the area and got donuts down the street at Golden Donuts.

I saw so many lovely plants decorating the entry ways of houses and I felt really ~inspired~* for when I move into my own (room in an) apartment in September.

The Heath Newstand was a very cute, hipster, SF artsy type shop (or at least it felt like that to me, an out-of-towner). I loved the greeting cards and the books they had, especially the travel and art section.

We wandered into a good few random boutiques on the second day, and I was absolute heart eyes at all the art supplies at The Aesthetic Union. I do this thing where I take photos of things I want to buy but won’t let myself buy, like these compliment cards. (I think I do this because I’m pretty frugal with money and feel like I can DIY cards instead of buying them, but I feel liiiiiike it’s weird that it makes me feel an inordinate amount of guilt to buy a nice piece of art that makes me happy so maybe I should talk to a therapist about that.)

My bf saw this tent and said “omg, it would be perfect for Luna!”. I picked it up and saw that, wonder of wonders, it was actually intended to be a cat tent! Then we looked at the tag and it was almost $200, so we put it back to wait for the day when we are millionaires and can spend $200 on a cat tent.

This was outside a school – it says “curious and courageous”. :’)

The murals across SF are so so nice. These are from a brewery that we walked past, and the one above was in the Mission.

2. things i liked a lot

The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui: My best friend from high school gave me this book while I was visiting her in LA, so this was my July read. It’s an illustrated memoir and pretty fast to get through because of that, and it was the first graphic novel type book I’ve read that hit me like a non-illustrated one would. She writes and paints with such care and skill and it felt so big to be able to read her story and her family’s history. I saw parts of myself and my Asian immigrant family in it, especially when she wrote about her relationships with her parents and their life in Vietnam. Other parts I couldn’t see us in at all. It feels intimate and foreign all at once, but most of all, it’s exactly what the quote on the back says – “a book to break your heart and heal it”. It was UCLA’s Common Book last year (? I think?) and I’m really :’) to have it as a memory of a visit to my best friend from high school for the school I’m starting at soon.

My Mango wide-leg jeans: I was going to take a photo of these, but honestly it’s the middle of August already and I just want to publish this post lol. Maybe I’ll add one later. In any case, I have the tag in my travel journal which is further down this page in my Rome journal spreads, so you can kind of see what they look like. On me, a person who is firmly 5’3, they look nothing like they do in the picture because they skim the top of my feet and are not culotte length – so that’s why they are my wide-leg jeans and not my culottes, lol. I got them in Rome with my dad and I’m really into the aggressively wide-leg look! I’ve realized lately that I’ve become very blah with my style, wearing the same things all the time, and it bugs me because I remember being into putting outfits together and having fun with experimenting like that. I’m trying to remember that feeling and also trying to dress in a more interesting way – it’s not worked out yet, but we’ll see where we get lol.

Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe: This is a webcomic about the Greek gods that I kept seeing Instagram ads for and my god, they know exactly what kind of people to target with those ads, because I caved and clicked and I’m obsessed with this comic now!!!!! I have push notifications on (and I only have notifications turned on for like 10 apps on my phone that are ‘important’ like banking and messages, not even Instagram!!!) so I know immediately when a new update is up!!!! I LOVE THE GODDAMN THING AND I’M EVEN THINKING OF CONTRIBUTING VIA PATREON!!!! …Anyway, this is a webcomic mainly about Hades and Persephone and I adore the artist’s style of art. It deals with things like sexual assault and toxic parenting really well, and it’s fun and gorgeous to read. I cannot believe an Instagram ad for Webtoon brought this into my life and knew exactly what I wanted. I also know full well that I was a child with a book of 101 illustrated Greek myths that I read cover to cover at least twenty times so, you know, that last sentence is a complete lie.

3. things i did not like a lot

Photographers, Instagrammers – Stop Being So Damn Selfish and Disrespectful from Paul Reiffer’s blog: If you’ve gone anywhere in the past few years, you’ve probably taken a photo for the ‘gram or helped someone take one for the ‘gram or seen a lot of people taking pics for the ‘gram. And, like, this is not to be old man yelling at a cloud about it, but I think we all need to look critically at our photo-taking habits and reassess whether we really need a photo in this lavender field right now. I like Instagram as much as any Gen Z gal, but it’s hard to deny how narcissistic it can make us, as well as how a photo op can be incredibly disrespectful to lands and people. Reiffer is a photographer who wrote this blog post after seeing the lavender fields in Provence overrun by people trying to get their shot. I think Instagrammers, Chinese wedding shoots (idk about other groups bc I’m Chinese? But omg the Chinese wedding shoot thing is like. A WHOLE THING. It’s wild.), photographers, and normal everyday folk alike have a hand in this, and I think Reiffer could have been a little more self-aware of the role he and his fellow photographers have played. Overall though, it’s an interesting read from a photographer’s perspective.

These weren’t people wanting to enjoy the view – or even capture the scenery to share and enjoy well into the future with friends. These are people so obsessed with their own sense of self-importance for the sake of a few instant “likes” on their social media profile that they find it perfectly acceptable to trespass, steal, disrespect the workers and their land – all in the name of “influencing”.

+ how I don’t remember anything else from this month lol

4. camera roll

Something Shalom said to me after I read one of her Instagram captions that really fucking ~spoke to me~ after a week of feeling hardcore imposter syndrome and freaking out about what I’m doing and where I’m going. I wrote it in my planner and I’m trying to remember it still.

I finally finished journalling my Rome trip!

Saw this on my Instagram explore tab, went :o. You guys think it’s true?! I’d like to try it out the next time I’m writing a paper.

Luna’s turned five!!!!! This was my bf’s birthday cake, so don’t worry, we didn’t serve her chocolate cake lol. We just put Luna-appropriate candles on it and gave her extra tuna for dinner. 🙂

I also screenshotted this from somewhere on Instagram (I think someone’s story) and I’d like to read her book. I struggle a lot with the feeling of constantly disappointing my parents, and it would be more OK if I didn’t have accompanying not-super-high self-worth/-esteem. I’m learning every day that it’s not my job to satisfy my parents’ needs and wants; sometimes people are unhappy because they want to be, not because of me.

While sorting my clothes into piles of keep and don’t keep, I tossed my bf’s sweater to the side. And Luna jumped on it immediately, curled right up, and fell asleep. Can you believe this little bub?!?!?? Ach, my heart.

VERY USEFUL BANANA INFO !!

5. goal recap

THE GOOD

  • Got prescription sunglasses
  • Went through all my clothes and got rid of a whole bunch via consignment/donation
  • Applied for my UCLA student ID card
  • + some other miscellaneous school stuff
  • Took my cat to the vet for her annual check up
  • Started working on my cross stitch again
  • Finished my travel journal for my trip to Rome

THE NOT GR8

  • Did not donate various items of furniture that I’ve been meaning to do 4 4evr
  • Did not seriously look for/apply for scholarships
  • Completely stopped writing in my planner so I don’t know what I wanted to do but did not lol

That’s all for July! If I do August on time, I’ll see you in two weeks lol.

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Life & Ramblings, Travel

june ’19 // month in review

1. rome

This June I went to Rome/Italy for the first time! I’m a big fan of pasta and art, so Rome is a good place for a tourist with these interests.

I went with my dad, who had a work conference, and that was a. lot. of time to spend with him. And I didn’t super understand what having only him as proper social contact for 24 hours a day for 10 days would do to my mental state!! Short-sighted on my part, seeing as I try to avoid my parents normally, but we live and we learn. As a result of this miscalculation + the stress of traveling, I felt pretty depressed for a few days over this trip and it was really scary! One of the biggest giveaways of my depression flaring up into a bad spot is when I lose my appetite completely; I enjoy eating for fun and regularly melodramatically whine about how I’m absolutely starving and must eat something right this second or else wither away into nothingness, will somebody please bring me some chips!!!!! When I’m depressed, I lose my desire to eat completely. It’s really weird and I don’t know how it works, but when that happens I can easily not eat for, like, 12 hours with nary a tum grumble at all. So that happened in Italy, which was scary and made me feel really guilty for getting to travel to such an amazing place and then not wanting to get out of bed at all.

That said, what a time it was. The art was beautiful, the architecture was beautiful, the people were too, and I’m already mentally planning a trip back for myself – maybe not in the middle of summer when it’s roasting hot. We hit all the main tourist attractions while we were there, so ideally next time I’ll get to spend a lot more time looking at art in museums and galleries.

These are some photos from my phone, but I’ll pull together some DSLR pictures for a post! Hopefully sooner rather than later, but that’s a battle I’ve already lost lol.

And lastly, a page of doodles in the back of my Passion Planner of things I saw a lot of there. It’s funny (in the interesting funny sort of way, not the interesting haha sort of way) to see the smaller, everyday things that are so different from place to place. I think that’s why I like going to grocery stores when I travel so much lol – it really shows how people live, in a way that I think you would miss if you just went to the major tourist attractions and nowhere else.

2. favoritez

Eddy de Pretto’s Random performance on Colors: I’ve been listening to this YouTube video on repeat, and I do not mean that in a hyperbolic way. I mean that I have actually been rewinding the YouTube video (the actual song recording on Spotify just doesn’t sound as good to me?) over and over again while I cross stitch or edit photos or reply to emails or whatever. I have no idea what he’s saying parçe que je parle no bien français, but this is really good. I dig his monk going bowling look, too.

New phone: This month I got a new phone! I had the iPhone 6 and now have the XS. It’s very nice to have a phone that doesn’t crash apps all the time and act very slow, as well as to be able to take portrait photos of my cat lol. I think this might be the last iPhone I get because of pricing/functionality/very obviously planned obsolescence.

Stardew Valley: Like any young child who disliked violence in video games and enjoyed games where the goal is to befriend people and chickens, I loved Harvest Moon. I played it a lot and had a notebook that I kept notes in, featuring illustrations of townspeople and their favorite things. (I married Ellie, in case you were wondering, and in the Nintendo DS version where I played as a girl, I married no one because I thought all the eligible male bachelors were ugly. Ten-year-old me had high standards, apparently.) My bf told me about Stardew Valley by describing it as “a better and bigger Harvest Moon”, I downloaded it on my phone (the only time I’ve ever bought an app with my own money), and now I’m obsessed. It’s just like Harvest Moon but better and bigger and I’m amazed that one person made it all, from the character design to the music to the coding and technical stuff. The game is basically a farming simulator, where you play a person who has inherited a farm and now must make a life for yourself in Stardew Valley. You farm crops, you raise animals, you mine gems in caves, you fish, you befriend villagers, you marry someone, YOU HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. I think this is a game for people who enjoy games like Harvest Moon and Animal Crossing, where you don’t shoot anyone or steal any cars – you just give your neighbors cookies and hug your goats everyday.

3. not favoritez

Shopping for sunglasses: I’m Chinese, and one of the facial features people with my ethnic background tend to have is a very low nose bridge. This makes it difficult for glasses to stay up on my face. In turn, this makes it very difficult for me because I need glasses to see. I want to get prescription sunglasses because 1) I live in sunny California and 2) I don’t like contact lenses, and it’s been hard finding nice sunglasses that look good and don’t fall off my face immediately. It’s 2019, y’all! Why aren’t there more options for me!? Gentle Monster is cool and all but I don’t have that kind of money!!

What I’ve learned implicitly from family: I’ve been realizing a lot of beliefs I have are pretty dang harmful to me, my mental health, and my ability to live and be cool and fine. Those beliefs had to have come from somewhere, and a lot of them come from my parents and how they raised me! Whether intentionally or not, I’ve taken on a lot of things, and this month I realized I think affection/love is tied to achievement/success (and this is part of why I’m terrified of failure bc it equals being alone and uncared for 4evr). Fun fun funnnn. This video on manipulative parents made me :/, but (not to get all emo or anything) I think it’s better to become aware of these things so I can excavate these shitty beliefs from my mind and grow better.

4. camera roll

Another UC meme, lol.

Rose, bud, thorn via Cupcakes & Cashmere: I hate small talk and like to squirrel away questions to ask people to force them to open up to me, so I thought this was a good one. The idea is you go over a positive thing currently going great (rose), something with the potential to grow (bud), and a struggle or negative you’re going through (thorn). I really like this one, so I hope I remember it next time I’m catching up with someone.

Officine Universelle Buly 1803: A beautiful store’s Instagram I discovered via Lorna Luxe‘s Instagram, filled with things that would be so cool to get or give as gifts. All madly out of my price range, of course!

A Stardew Valley comic that made me actually laugh out loud.

Annamarie Tendler Mulaney’s interview with Nylon: Talking about women by mentioning their husbands first is something I dislike doing, but I discovered Annamarie via her husband John (the comedian, the skinny white guy that wears suits on stage) and this article via his Instagram, so I’m afraid I will here. On this picture, his caption reads ‘As I once said to [Annamarie] “you are an art project that is always evolving”‘ and that is when I melted. What a lovely way to view one’s life, right? Her many artistic ventures from makeup to lampshades to embroidery to looking cool as fuck are so cool to be able to watch. And that sentiment of being a constantly evolving art project is something I hope to keep with me instead of freaking out about how I don’t have everything planned out perfectly.

5. goal recap

THE GOOD

  1. Repaired my necklace that I wear everyday
  2. Started investing (opened a Roth IRA! HOW ADULT)
  3. Registered for orientation at UCLA

THE NOT SO GOOD

  1. Find new sunglasses
  2. Do a whole lot of cleaning/decluttering
  3. Finish my LA post for WordPress on time (not that there is an on time, but it’s been like 2 months lol)
  4. Sent my transcripts for UCLA late (snail mail takes a while, who knew!)
  5. Remembered things I did/didn’t do this month tbh

That’s all I’ve got for June! I can’t believe we’re already a good week into July. Next month I’ll have my UCLA orientation, and the month after that I’ll be moved in there – so weird to think about. I hope your summers are going well and that you’re taking good care of yourselves ~

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Life & Ramblings

may ’19 // month in review

1. summer !!

May brought me into ~summer ~*! I finished my last semester of community college and will be interning/working at the restaurant for the summer before I go off to college and I have this weird feeling of being in a transitory state in my life. My life in a few months will be so different from my life a few months ago, and that uncertainty coupled with no belief in myself lol is freaking me out a bit. I’m going to be going to Rome in June (!!!!!), but other than that I want to stay close to home and maybe work on learning some Good Life Habits like exercising and cooking and sleeping well and cleaning and whatnot so I can take them with me when I leave in the fall.

2. a trip to LA

The day after I finished my last final exam, we drove down to LA to visit UCLA and UC San Diego. I took my DSLR camera with me so I might make another post if I have good photos, but in the mean time here are lots of HUJI pics lmao. We did a tour of UCLA led by those backwards walking tour guides and it was very cool, if also very intimidating. I felt a lot of imposter syndrome when they were talking about all the amazing people who went to UCLA or worked there and all the amazing things that the school was affiliated with and started getting really in my head and feeling like I wasn’t supposed to be here. I actually had a dream a couple weeks ago where I moved into my dorm and then walked into my first day of class at UCLA, only to be told by someone that a mistake was made, I was never accepted, and I had to go home right away. It was the worst and uh really illustrates why I need to work on ye olde self-esteem and confidence lol.

The campus is really beautiful. My parents left after a few days and I stayed with my friend who goes to UCLA and basically just followed her around for a few days lol, like a live action day in the life of a UCLA student vlog. This picture below is from a bar called Barney’s and the tables were decorated with pictures of celebrities from the 2000s which is 100% my ideal bar aesthetic. Imagine if you had a bar and all the tables were dedicated to celebrities from the early 2000s. There’s a Paris Hilton table, a Kim K as Paris’ assistant table, a Mischa Barton table… it goes on. Stay tuned, we will open when I find an investor as into this idea as I am.

On my flight home I was treated to the realization that Southwest works by having unassigned seats. I had no idea and was just moseying around airport gift shops like an utter fig instead of standing in line! I got the very last window seat in the whole plane.

3. favz

Detective Pikachu: This movie killed me. I cried out of sadness, I cried out of awe at Pikachu’s fluffy cheeks, I cried out of happiness. The moviemakers pushed all the right buttons for me. Other than Pikachu, I loved Psyduck and Ken Watanabe’s Snubbull. I do have a fair amount of complaints and here’s the biggest one of them – Why was Rita Ora there?? Why is she still around??? I’ve always been confused as to why she’s in movies or at premieres/celeb events because she hasn’t…done anything? Except some not great songs?? Anyway, 10/10 would recommend! I would watch Pokemon anything even if I have problems with it like I do here, but if you grew up playing Pokemon like I did I feel liiiike it’d take a lot to ruin that sweet sweet nostalgia.

Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette special on Netflix: My friend recommended this to me and I watched it in bits and spurts while eating lunch at various times throughout the month. It was so good. Her art history tidbits were interesting and her story was alternately insightful, funny, painful, and touching. I wrote down this quote to remember –

Laughter is not our medicine. Stories hold our cure. Laughter is just the honey that sweetens the bitter medicine.

Hannah Gadsby

The Enneagram: It’s been established that I am a sucker for personality tests and I took this one this month. I’m a 4 wing 3 and I read the entire page and was like 😮 it tru :o. The enneagram is a model of personality types that describes 9 interconnected types – thus the name, as ‘enneagram’ means nine-pointed figure. The official website is here, but they charge money to take the test so you can take a free test here and then just go back to the official website to read about your results. It’s not widely scientifically accepted but I thought reading the page for mine helped me realize a fair amount of uncomfortable truths about myself. The description page on the official website has a section on the end listing stages of development for each type, with 3 healthy levels, 3 average levels, and 3 unhealthy levels. The unhealthy levels capture how I was/am at high levels of anxiety and depression and the healthy levels are exactly how I picture my dream life going. I took the quiz and read it all while I was feeling really intimidated and afraid about UCLA; the recommendations for personal growth in my section are so relevant in that regard.

Multicolored nails: This has been ~trendy for a while but I really liked it and did it myself in May. I realized it’s the perfect trendy mani thing for me to partake in because I don’t need any actual nail painting skill, I just need a variety of colors. Amazing!! I think watching AmandaRachLee’s bullet journal videos on YouTube made me get really into the idea. This Byrdie compilation of looks didn’t hurt either.

Aurora James’ Met Gala look + commentary:

4. goal recap

THINGS I AM 🙂 ABOUT

  • Graduated from community college with an Associate’s Degree and a 4.0 GPA
  • Finally went to my eye exam
  • Submitted all my forms and stuff to UCLA (admission offer, housing application, IGETC, transcripts)
  • Made thank you cards for some professors
  • Got my Catbird necklace repaired
  • Renewed car registration
  • Opted out of those awful credit card letters that say you’re pre-approved every week and try to get you to sign up
  • Approved for a credit line increase

THINGS I AM :/ ABOUT

  • Had an abysmal sleep schedule
  • Didn’t get accepted for many of the main scholarships I applied for
  • Did not exercise
  • Did not keep up with my monthly reflection page in my planner
  • Did not clean (I wanted to clean out a lot of things but this month, as in the last 93 months, I did not do it)

5. camera roll

I won a Passion Planner giveaway on Instagram this month! It’s the first time I’ve won something since I was in the single digit years of my life and we are very excited. I’m very much looking forward to August so I can crack this guy open and start using it. It’s also in the small (/compact) size that Passion Planner discontinued, so I’m even more excited to use that size again. I went to tell all those people I complained to when they changed to only the medium (/pro) size and they were still like cool, don’t care about planners, lol.

Thank you cards for professors who wrote me letters of recommendation. I’m happy with how they turned out but I’m more happy that I finally did them, because two (2) months ago I was all “this weekend I’ll make the thank you cards and then I’ll have them all ready to go in a couple months!” I did not do that.

My bf sent me some UC memes in celebration of my UC acceptances and they are hILARIOUS.

Just 2 Chinese gals makin’ dumplings!

A screenshot from a video on the Passion Planner YouTube that I’ve sadly lost track of. Really want to start doing this myself!

Luna’s new favorite spot to curl up in – my bag o’ scarves.

A dream size cat!!!!!!!!


Thank u guys for reading! Happy summer if it’s starting for you too 🙂

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Life & Ramblings

april ’19 // month in review

1. close 2 the end

We’re in May, which means in about twenty days it will be ~summer~! (I’m trying not to think about how in 2 years I will no longer have a ‘summer’, it’ll just be hot months where I am working. And that’s optimistically if I’m able to wangle a job lordy lord adult life sounds terrifying.) I’ll graduate and be done with community college and will be heading off to finish my undergraduate degree in the fall, and as with any ending, I have feelings about it.

Also, April 22 was Earth Day. I was going to talk abut this in my non-favs section but I have a lot to say and I think it’s important and like our planet is also close 2 the end. I saw many many posts on Instagram encouraging me to recycle and buy metal straws on Earth Day, and I also had to sit through a fair amount of presentations from my classmates about how I should say no to plastic bags. The past couple months I’ve gradually come to be a little ??? at this line of argument because how on earth is me trying desperately to recycle everything that comes into my hands going to tackle climate change largely caused by polluting industries and corporations? Did some thinking. Did some listening. Did some reading. And I want to share them with you. This YouTube video from The Atlantic, titled America’s Dopamine-Fueled Shopping Addiction, discussed consumerism in the U.S. and how it has grown into an entirely too wasteful form of consumption. Consumption is undoubtedly tied to climate change, but I think it’s unfair to expect everyone to live a zero waste lifestyle (great as they are) when businesses are still skirting regulations and pumping carbon into the atmosphere and governments are failing to protect the people they work for. The recap episode for the Articles of Interest miniseries from 99% Invisible highlighted the lessons Avery Trufelman learned in reporting on clothing for that series and how she’s changed her own consumption patterns regarding style and fashion in light of how polluting that industry is. The Circular(s) episode from the Still Processing podcast featured David Wallace-Wells, a climate columnist for New York Magazine who wrote the book The Uninhabitable Earth: Life After Warming. They talked about the limits of conscious consumption in the fight against climate change and the necessity of political action rather than, say, worrying about how much plastic you, individually, are consuming. And this all brings me to the main point – that the response to the environmental crisis that understands “environmental degradation as the product of individual shortcomings and finds solutions in enlightened, uncoordinated consumer choice” ultimately “narrow[s] our collective ability to imagine and pursue a variety of productive responses to the environmental problems before us”. The journal article Individualization: Plant a Tree, Buy a Bike, Save the World? by Michael F. Maniates, published in Global Environmental Politics all the way back in 2001 (FOREVER AGO god how did it take me so long to figure this out), argues that “when responsibility for environmental problems is individualized, there is little room to ponder institutions, the nature and exercise of political power, or ways of collectively changing the distribution of power and influence in society”. Some food for thought, eh? Imagine if I had taken all the energy I used fretting over what kind of reusable cotton pads to get to write my legislative representatives or volunteer my time to lobby for political change, huh?

2. favorites

Mejuri x Claire Marshall ear cuff: Mejuri had a sale in March, so I bought this lil guy from their collaboration with Claire Marshall, one of my favorite Internet content people. I’m generally really skeeved out at the thought of buying jewelry and accessories because it’s so much money for such a small product, but I’ve realized that I have entirely too much clothing and jewelry/accessories can do a whole ton for a ~look. This is probably the first piece of jewelry I’ve bought for myself that’s cost more than $15 and it felt like the biggest fucking splurge. Anyway, I’ve been wearing it and it looks really cool! I had hoped to get a cartilage piercing with a hoop this summer, but I think my second lobe piercing is infected so I should probably take care of that first..

The Paula Scher episode of Abstract: The Art of Design on Netflix: This episode was amazing!!! I’ve seen trailers for Abstract and my bf’s been telling me I’ll like it for um a very long while, but I hadn’t gotten around to watching it until a few weeks ago. I picked the graphic design episode to watch and was like o00000oOO0oomg the whole time. If you have a passing interest in typography or graphic design, you’ll probably be like that, too. Her work is amazing! Her maps are amazing! Her album covers are amazing! Omfg!! I felt so inspired after I watched it lol.

The Study Group Bringing bell hooks to Prisons from Next City: What an amazing headline, right? While in prison, Richie ‘Reseda’ Edmond-Vargas and Charles Berry began developing curriculum to educate other incarcerated men on the effects of patriarchy and toxic masculinity. The program is called Success Stories and launched in 2014 with a focus on bell hooks and including many intersectional feminist texts. Now based in LA, Edmond-Vargas and Berry operate Success Stories as a non-profit that introduces concepts of toxic patriarchal masculinity and rape culture and then discussing “how their lives have been affected, and in many ways defined, by them”. Over a weekly course, men “find space to talk about their feelings” and many “make conscious efforts to free themselves from it”. Eventually they hope to deliver this program nationally, and I hope to god it happens. People learning about patriarchy and men learning about how living under it affects them too makes my angry sad feminist heart swell.

This tweet from AP: I’m so glad we’re on the same page about calling a racist spade a racist spade.

Do not use racially charged or similar terms as euphemisms for racist or racism when the latter terms are truly applicable.

AP Style Book 2019

Ky Ryssdall and Beth Ruyak’s voices: Every once in a while I listen to Marketplace on NPR when I happen to be driving, and lately I’ve started listening to it from the podcast app on my phone. The podcast is fine, but what I want to talk about is THIS MAN’S VOICE. What the fuck? It is such a nice voice. How does he get it that way? Has it always been that way? Did he get a vocal coach to make it that way? I have the same questions about Beth Ruyak, who hosts the Insight show on Capital Public Radio, my local NPR station. They have such nice voices. Every time it comes on the radio I’m like oh ho ho.

3. non-favs

Me health: After about a week and a bit this month, I started feeling super sick. It’s a mystery ailment, mostly involving nausea, and my doctor is confused about what’s going on, as am I. They think it could be a stomach problem. As of now, I feel OK, but it comes and goes and I hope it goes away forever soon.

5. camera roll + reading list

After I got my email rejection for a summer internship I was really hoping to do, I kind of just sat in my bathroom feeling bummed for a while. Luna came over and cuddled with me :’)

How to Fail Like a Pro episode from Freakonomics: The week I got the internship rejection was not a great one, as I was also sick and got waitlisted at UC Berkeley. In the spirit of rejection (and in recognition of the fact that I was totally bitterly wallowing), I listened to some podcast episodes about failure and picking yourself up and growing from it and all that. This one from Freakonomics was a really good one, and I wrote this thing that Jorinde Voigt, a painter and artist, said down in my phone to remember –

It’s not about failing or winning, it’s just about being and doing.

Jorinde Voigt

WOOP, There It Is! episode from Hidden Brain: In the same dejected frenzy, I listened to this episode from Hidden Brain which featured the psychologist Gabriele Oettingen, author of Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside The New Science Of Motivation. Long story short, those who have stronger and more positive fantasies are less likely to achieve them in areas ranging from job seeking to forming relationships. Oettingen devised WOOP as a way to actually reach more of your goals – it stands for Wish Outcome Obstacle Plan. You start by deciding your wish or goal, and then you envision the outcome if you were to achieve this wish of yours. But then you pivot and see obstacles in you that may hinder you from achieving this wish. Oettingen stressed that by focusing on obstacles within you rather than the environment or the situation, you maintain agency and only work on what you can, instead of just making excuses when you get a C instead of a B grade. After you know your obstacles, you make a plan to deal with them so that you can get your wish.

What the Hell Else Can I Do to Get a Job? from Bitches Get Riches: I don’t think I’ve mentioned this blog before, but it’s a personal finance blog written by two women and it’s hilarious, well-written, informative, and conscious about stupid things like sexism and capitalism and this lone Internet reader highly recs! In the throes of my internship rejection woe I worried about how I could ever ever find a job. These were some good tips about putting yourself out there and finding opportunity, which is something I need to work on as someone generally uncomfortable with asking for more ketchup at a restaurant. I also read, like, six more articles about retirement, because that’s a thing you worry about when you know your parents are not super financially savvy. This retirement 101 post and this traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA comparison were both helpful for this Gen Z-er who learned about mitochondrias in high school and not taxes or how on earth I’m going to pay to live when the funds for Social Security run out by the time I’m wizened.

Why Did New York’s Most Selective Public High School Admit Only 7 Black Students? episode from The Daily: At one of NYC’s top public high schools, only 7 out of 895 spots in the freshman class were offered to black students. This is fucking bonkers. As a Chinese American person, school demographics are something people who share my ethnic and racial background talk about a lot, and I am part of a group of people that is talked about a lot in regards to school populations. This episode was challenging to listen to because I can totally understand how immigrant Asian families feel but at the same time I disagree vehemently and wish they could see that it’s not about us vs. them, it’s about justice vs. segregation. It’s about equal opportunity for everyone. Right now black and brown kids lack the same opportunities white and East Asian kids commonly have and face challenges once they’re in systems of prestige and education.

The NHS exercise guides: Pls don’t laugh at me lol I’m such a couch potato and I’m trying not to be. I’ve never been ~active~*, not even as a kid, and um what do u kno a sedentary lifestyle usually means you will be in uncomfortable pain and die early. Fun times!!!! This was helpful for a potato like me in figuring out how much exercise I should aim for, as well as how fast I have to walk for it to count as moderate exercise.

The Sacramento Bee’s CA Influencers series: Very much unrelated to how I think about influencers in this blogging day n age lol – the Sac Bee, the newspaper in the capital of this fine state, does this series with the people ~influencing~* the state and the country. It’s interesting and good to know

The Light Triad: Psychologists Outline the Personality Traits of Everyday Saints from Discover: I think my bf found this on Reddit. If you like personality quizzes, you’ll love this!! Lol, the dark triad measures the more sinister aspects of personality (narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism) and this year, psychologists from the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Hawai’i-West O’ahu developed a counter part light triad test consisting of humanism, Kantianism, and faith in humanity. Interesting article to read, and you can take the light triad scale test for yourself at one of the researchers’ website!

UC decisions came out this month and I got into UCLA, where I’ll probably be going! A relevant meme:

Explicit Design: An artist on Instagram with very minimalist and v nice art! I saw a tattoo of their work and it was gorgeous.

Cleansing Tools & Techniques from Snow White and the Asian Pear: On this month’s skincare article rabbit hole, I learned about Go Hyun Jung’s cleansing rules – never touch your face without washing your hands first, wash properly and at length, and wash against the grain of your skin. This means “instead of starting from the inside and sweeping out like you do with a toner or general skincare, start at the outside of your face, and using tiny circular motions, slowly work your way in towards the center”. Also, don’t apply cleanser all over your face right away, to ensure the dry patches of your skin don’t dry out too much. Go hyun Jung says you should apply cleanser to the nose, forehead, and outside of the face, and then move from the outside inward. I’ve been trying the washing against the grain of my skin thing and I can’t say I feel anything different on my fingertips, but my skin’s been looking pretty good lately!

5. goal recap

GOOD THINGS I DID!

  • Get accepted to UCLA, UC San Diego, UC Davis, and UC Santa Barbara
  • Tried acupuncture for the first couple times
  • Filed my taxes
  • Got A’s on all my essays/exams in my classes

NOT SO GR8 THINGS I DID!

  • Got waitlisted at UC Berkeley
  • Got rejected for the summer internship I wanted to do
  • Got very weirdly sick – this one has had a big impact on this month. I’ve stayed home sick a bunch and taken time off from school, my internship, and work, so I haven’t super gotten things done. I’m trying to be OK with it instead of mad at myself for not getting stuff done, because illness is, you know, a Rl Thing, and I’ve been brainwashed into wanting productivity and business at the expense of my wellbeing. This month was a little slower than usual and I spent the bulk of it trying to feel better. That’s OK.

Thanks for reading u guys! I hope May is off to a good start for you.

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Life & Ramblings

february ’19 // month in review

1. more of the same

It’s March and this post is solate! February flew the fuck by, and I guess that’s what it’s supposed to do, being the shortest month and all. I mentioned last month that I felt pretty tired and blah, and I’m still feeling that way. I hope it just means I’m gearing up to be the 100 emoji, but it’s OK, I think, because these things pass.

Image source: NPR

2. favorites

Paddington 2: I really loved Paddington 1 and I thought to myself, how could the sequel possibly beat this perfect movie? And then we watched it, and I witnessed the best sequel in the history of cinema unfold before my eyes. If you liked the first movie, the original books, and the emotion joy, you will love this movie. And if you’re not willing to die for that little bear at the end of it? I’ll eat my marmalade sandwich hat.

This tip for getting rid of hickeys: I’m not too skilled at makeup, but this month I learned a useful makeup + get out of my life trick for hickeys! After several YouTube videos and Google searches and blog posts and magazine articles, I did a really good job at covering up and then banishing a hickey pretty quickly. It was gone in, like, four days, and sometimes I’ve had them stick around for over a week. The makeup side of this is to layer liquid and powder products over and over with flat brushes – I did a layer of liquid concealer, patted on with my ring finger, then powder concealer from Bare Minerals, patted on with a flat brush, and then repeat. Sometimes I mix it up with a liquid foundation or a powder foundation or a translucent setting powder, just to make the color right. It’s also important to just dab and pat with your fingers or a flat brush (not a fluffy brush), to make sure you’re depositing the product exactly where it needs to go and not buffing or sheering it out too much. And to get rid of the thing quickly, take a flat topped round object (like the top of a mascara tube), press it into the hickey in question, and turn it. Alternatively, you can use a coin (or some other similarly-shaped object that is not so dirty lol) and scrape your hickey with the side. This is supposed to break up the blood clotted up there. You have to do it as hard as you can take it, but I didn’t do it very often or very hard and it still worked pretty well. Hashtag hoe tips!

Pokemon: Indigo League: In February, J and I got very into Pokemon. Like, it’s all we’ve been watching, we only communicate in Pokemon gifs, he got me a stuffed Pikachu for Valentine’s Day, we unearthed my little brother’s old Nintendo DS and J’s been playing the game like mad, we’re really into Pokemon now. The first season (which is on Netflix) is actually incredibly funny and entertaining to watch. We have a theory that it was just supposed to run for one season and they didn’t anticipate how popular the whole franchise would get, so the writing and voice actors were really good then, and deteriorated as time went on and they realized people would still keep watching and they could still keep making money.

3. non-favorites

This is the section where I would usually talk about things that did not bring joy to my month, and I can’t super think of that much I want to gripe about. I don’t think that’s actually a good thing, because I think I felt fairly meh all of February, and there weren’t highs and lows that I can point to.

4. goals

So I thought I would change the way I’m doing this section bc, honestly, I do not remember what I said in my last post when I’m going through the days/weeks – my new idea is that I can go over things I did and am feeling good about and things I did not do and am feeling bad about. This is also a defense because I did exactly zero (0) of the actual specific things I set out in January. But, like, I did other things!? And it’s good to celebrate the wins while also being like, girl, is it really so hard to get rid of homework your family has been hoarding since the first grade???? And so, in no particular order~

THINGS I DID + AM 🙂 ABOUT

  1. Submitted my FAFSA
  2. Finished up my UCLA transfer application (I’m in my CC’s honors program, so I have to do a certification thingy)
  3. Edited my photos from Vancouver
  4. Went on walks a few times a week (in an effort to get my step count up, bc going from home -> class -> office -> home is not a recipe for movement)
  5. Cut my cat’s nails
  6. Saw my brother while he was visiting
  7. Got As on my first couple tests in school!
  8. Submitted my CC’s scholarship application
  9. Sold a couple clothes/makeup bits n bobs on Mercari
  10. Submitted my application to a summer program
  11. Booked flights for my summer trip to Rome with my dad! (He’s going to a work conference, I am excitedly tagging along)
  12. Submitted my petition to graduate after this semester
  13. Realized I need another class to graduate in time to enroll

THINGS I DID NOT DO AND AM 😦 ABOUT

  1. Finish my Common App
  2. Give my boyfriend his Valentine’s Day card (I gave him his gift and a smol card, but I didn’t finish the main card in time for the actual day…)
  3. Keep up with my planner
  4. Exercise (I had the goal of exercising 2-3 times a week, whether that be running, going to the gym with my bf, or doing a video workout at home, and I exercised like…. 3 times the whole month. Better than nothing, I guess, but definitely not my goal)
  5. Get a good amount of sleep
  6. Keep my bedroom/physical space clean
  7. Take my car to be washed inside and out
  8. Cross stitch (I’ve been working on this thing for legit 3 years at this point)
  9. Plan my spring break holiday (I’m planning on visiting colleges during this time, and still have no0oo0o00O clue what is going on lol)
  10. Get rid of some old furniture
  11. Donate unwanted bits around the house
  12. KonMari my clothes

5. + camera roll / good reads !

Fifty Shades of Snail’s 7 Skincare Classics: I love a good makeup/skincare blogger – it’s fun seeing people much better at it than I am do it well, hopefully learn something, get a peek into a lot of products and lavish routines that I would probably otherwise not be able to, and the chatter is nice when I’m getting ready for bed at night and don’t want to do it in silence but also don’t want to listen to a podcast (for fear that I might miss something crucial when the water’s splashing). The thing everyone hates about bloggers is, obviously, their seemingly endless stream of consumption and subsequent sponsored shilling of the night cream you have to have because it’s changed their life. I like Jude because her writing on Asian cosmetics and skincare describes what works and what doesn’t and why, and I especially liked this post because at the end of the day, hauls don’t tell you anything useful, but consistent repurchases do.


My name is fairly uncommon these days – I think its popularity peaked in the 1910s or ’20s. I never see anything with my name on it, even though I’ve been dying for a souvenir mug or nail polish color since forever, so imagine my rabid excitement when I saw the name of this shirt from Princess Polly! Unfortunately I think it’s ugly – but small victories, yeah?

Angel Trazo’s art on Instagram: I discover so many artists on Instagram that I love and am unable to remember in the coming months, so let this be the first one I am setting in ink (pixels?) to remember!! I like seeing artists, I like seeing artists illustrating about things I can relate to, like being an Asian American woman, I like seeing people do cool things and pursue things they care about and that are important. How else can I describe how art makes one feel? Idk, but I’m into art, and into this artist I found this month.

Goop’s GIFs of the KonMari Folding Method and Juju Sprinkles’ Illustrated Explanations of KonMari Folding: Like the rest of the country, I watched a few episodes of Marie Kondo’s Netflix show and felt personally attacked and inspired all at once to go forth and tidy up! I did not KonMari my closet, but I did start folding my clothes, and was immediately stumped. These two pages were the most helpful in helping me figure out how tf to make a neat little rectangle out of clothes, although I will say that I am still having a struggle with my crop top bralette party type tops and general bra storage. It’s nice to see the nice little rows in my wardrobe now, and it is, as everyone says, much easier to deal with than the vertical stacking we were all doing before.

Time’s Art History Expert Explanation of the Art in Beyoncé and Jay Z’s Apeshit Video: Totally know this video came out a while ago, but I just read this article recently and it is not worth skipping because of time. Kimberly Drew (art curator, writer, NYC Met’s social media editor) and Alexandra Thomas (art historian, PhD candidate at Yale for African American Studies and History of Art) go into the meaning of The Louvre and its artwork as a setting for the Carters, and it’s the best fucking thing. I could have read another five hundred pages of this. So interesting, and I loved this quote from Thomas in particular:

Beyoncé and these other artists aren’t assimilating, but instead, staging this embodied intervention that disrupts more than it conforms to the logistics of Western art and Western museums

Alexandra Thomas, on Marie-Guillemine Benoist’s Portrait of a Black Woman (Negress) painting

OK that is it for this laaaate post, it’s my birthday tomorrow and my gift to myself is getting this off my to-do list! Thanks as always 4 bein’ here, and I’ll see you in the next one (hopefully on time)

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Life & Ramblings

january ’19 // month in review

1. and we’re back !

The first month of 2019 is over, and we’re back in the swing of things – sort of not really it’s weird. My spring semester started in the middle, so I’ve been back to school/work/intern/real life stuff for a couple weeks now. And I’m, how do you say this, not doing gr8. I usually go through this the last few weeks of a semester, when I just feel a bit tired and my attitude regarding everything is ‘eh, can’t be bothered’ and I’m just not very good at getting stuff done. But this time around, I’ve started feeling that and it’s liiiike I’ve barely even started the semester?!? Wtf brain?? This should be my last semester at community college before I transfer out, and I hope I can help make it a good one – so hopefully this lil funk o’ mine doesn’t last too long.

Image Source: Amazon, The Verge, and YouTube

2. favorites

Charles and Rodrigo from The Final Table: We’ve been watching the Netflix cooking competition The Final Table, and although that show itself is not a favorite (we haven’t finished it yet because we’ve been sad/mad that all the POC and women have been eliminated, and that the countries they had to cook for didn’t include places like China or Thailand or Ethiopia or a Middle Eastern country, also the host is annoying and the uber dramatic lights are maddening), it did introduce me to Rodrigo Pacheco, an Ecuadorian chef, and Charles Michel, a French-Colombian traveling culinary artist. Which, I mean. That title?! Traveling culinary artist!?? Cannot get enough. Charles and Rodrigo’s dishes always featured indigenous ingredients and went deeper than food to art. I’m someone who mostly dislikes the concept of fine dining as something way too expensive, pretentious, and small (those portions could not feed a gnat well), but their ideas were so creative and meaningful. They thanked the sea for their ingredients and tried to convey emotions through their products and I was screaming at the TV when they got eliminated.

Quiet by Susan Cain: I read this while it was slow at work and finished it in (I think) less than a week. I couldn’t stop talking about it to literally everyone, so here I am to do so again! This book’s tagline is “the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking”, and it goes through the scientific basis for introversion/extroversion, the perceptions of both in US history, and psychology/neuroscience studies that support Cain’s argument that our extrovert-focused world misses out on a whole lot by devaluing introverts. I’m definitely an introvert and this book helped me see the value in not being as gregarious and loud as I’m ‘supposed’ to be in professional and personal situations, but even if I wasn’t so obviously introverted, this book is so interesting! It’s well researched but written very accessibly, and before you even know it you can explain what having a highly-reactive amygdala means or why Harvard Business School students are fucking up their annual mountaineering test. Ten out of ten could not recommend enough.

3. non-favorites

Tumblr banning NSFW content: I’m 21, so I’m what the old people might call a ‘digital native’, and I’ve had a Tumblr since I was fucking thirteen. I know it’s ridiculous how much time I’ve spent on that godforsaken website!! Tumblr was, of course, bought by Yahoo, and it’s been a frustrating platform for what feels like forever. In December Tumblr banned all NSFW content, which means no more sex acts, no more nudity, and no more “female-presenting nipples” to deal with the proliferation of child pornography and pornbots on the site. Cool cool cool cool, right? Totally good decision? I’ve spent so long on Tumblr and it feels a bit weird to say this, but it’s been a solid chunk of how I’ve developed in this life. I discovered so much stuff on Tumblr, from feminism to porn to fandoms I wrote fanfiction for (pls don’t @ me I will never share this) to studyblrs to in-depth Harry Potter meta essays to artists and bloggers I discovered seven goddamn years ago and am still following. There’s things I would definitely not prefer to see on that site, to be sure (RIP me the night I was looking at the Kung Fu Panda tag to try and find some fun trivia and instead saw a bunch of furry porn with Po and Tigress), but the ban on NSFW content makes what was a safe space for artists, sex workers, fandoms, and people just discovering what they like about “female-presenting nipples” into a barren shit hole. This site is going to die, it’s just a matter of how or when, but its parent company certainly isn’t helping things with decisions like this.

Terrible professors: One of the political science classes I’m taking this semester is a nightmare, and I have no qualms about passing judgment so quickly because I’ve heard terrible things about this professor and now I’m experiencing him 4 rl and THEY’RE ALL TRUE AND IT’S AWFUL. I’ve been lucky enough to escape truly awful professors so far, but this is a class that is a major requirement so I’m stuck here… And oh my god why do they have to exist? Why do there have to be professors who are unorganized, confusing, and about as engaging as a used floss string??

4. goals check in

At the end of December, I said I’d like to do three things by the end of January, so here I am, keeping myself accountable damn it.

  1. Clean my bedroom, esp. getting rid of clothes and furniture
  2. Fix my hoop earrings
  3. Exercise twice a week

On this first goal, I will say that I did a little less than an OK job. I’m a really messy person who doesn’t like to get rid of things (read: I am a hoarder in the making), like my parents and their parents before them, so combined we’ve got almost 300 years between us of being Marie Kondo’s worst nightmare. Taking that into account, every little helps, right? We have this room in our house which was my old bedroom, and we used it as a storage room for a lot of our shit while our renters were here. They’ve been gone for a long while, and we haven’t cleaned at alllll. I started cleaning it myself, but it’s really hard not getting really overwhelmed at the sight of piles of clothes and papers and assorted knick knacks from before I was born. I took 6 bags of clothes (from my mom and myself) to consign/donate, but I’m afraid I haven’t made progress on the furniture front. Mainly I’m just, like, how do u get rid of this huge desk??? My bed, desk, and storage unit were all from Ikea, and it was easy enough to get them in because we just took the box into my room and assembled them there. But how am I supposed to reverse that movement and get them out??

I did the second one though! I dropped my earrings off at a jewelry store literally four days ago when I remembered my monthly blog post thing, and I should be picking it up soonish. This took like thirty minutes and most of that was driving and finding a place to park, but it’s taken me so long to do. I’ve been meaning to do this for absolute months, and it’s one of those things that I’ve been putting off. I’m looking forward to having my everyday hoops back!

On the note of exercise, I did so a total of six times this month… which is a little less than ten, which was the goal (twice a week). I’ve never met a form of physical activity that I didn’t dislike heartily, but I hear it’s good for your health to move around and stuff.

All in all, pretty OK. Not perfect, but progress is progress. For February, here’s what I would like to do!

  1. Be done with my Common Application to apply for transfer to private schools (the deadline is March, but early March so I am shootin’ for sooner rather than later)
  2. Clean!!! (I know this is a redo of my January goal, but 4 rl this time. My specific goals are to a) Konmari fold all my clothes, b) go through my old school stuff and get rid of it, and c) just take care of 1 item of furniture oh my god pls)
  3. Plan my upcoming holidays (I’d like to visit colleges over spring break, and my dad has a business trip to Rome in the summer that I would l0o0oo0ve to tag along to)

Fingers crossed, y’all.

5. photos n more ~~

Before my bb brother left us for winter break, we all went to the SF MoMA – they had this really cool exhibit on Chinese art after 1989, but we got there too late and spent too long moseying around the rest of the museum to see this one properly. We got here just as they went “Attention! The museum is closing in thirty minutes!” over the loudspeakers and my bf and I looked at each other like 😦😦 before trying to dash around to get to it all. I don’t know enough about Chinese culture, art, and political thought, and the bits that we managed to see before the security guards were like ok seriously kids get out were so interesting. They even had the original of Ai Wei Wei’s Dropping a Han Dynasty Urn which I wanted to spend forever gazing at. Afterwards, we went to this amazing Indian restaurant which I have completely forgotten the name of, and ate so much I had to unzip my jeans completely.

Wanted: a patron to buy me a fancy phone to take better portraits of Luna. A family friend took this photo with his phone and I AM IN AWE. My iPhone 6 comes nowhere near.

This is a cute pic which makes me look like a cute coffee drinkin’ gal but it’s all a fake bc my friend said ‘hey hold this and laugh u look cute!’ lol.

Same friend, different coffee date, still her coffee lol.

I painted a CLIF bar and a banana for my studyblr. It’s hard to art, y’all. It’s so hard for me to pick up a thing and start doing it because I’m always so scared of failure and ugliness and fucking up, but every time I just do the damn thing I’m like, hey! It’s not perfectly amazing at all, but it felt nice! It felt good! Groundbreaking, I know.

+ a few links:

A 30-year-old cat named Rubble from Exeter had a birthday party;

The question that illuminates the sexist discourse around the Bezos divorce: Will Jeff Bezos Get Half of MacKenzie Bezos’s Fortune in the Divorce?

A great Slate article on the fit-mom online phenomenon/community and how it’s just the latest in women being held to super rigid physical standards (Why do we love dad bods but abhor the slightest hint of flab on moms? Who carry the fucking baby for 9 months??)

Here’s to February, folks!

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